Even the experienced struggle

Yup, it happened again.  I let my blog posts lapse for a while.  I'm sorry. 

But back on track, the other day I searched pinterest for any interesting blogs by military wives/spouses.  And I found a few but a lot of them seemed geared towards newer military spouses.
Which is good, because I remember how overwhelming I felt when my husband first joined.  But I would love to read about deployments and military life from the perspective of a fellow experienced military spouse who has been in the life for a while.

And since I can't find one, I think I might write a few posts geared towards that.  I'm not saying I know everything there is to know about being a military wife but I think I have a teensy bit of experience.

So, here goes.  The subject of my first post is that even seasoned military wives struggle.  And sometimes we have totally different struggles than newer military spouses.  The worst part is that our struggles can make us sound crazy. 

One of the biggest struggles I've had through his current deployment is that I keep running out of things to talk with him about.  Which probably sounds really trivial and stupid.
But it can actually be hard because when they're deployed, the only interaction you can have with them is talking.  And I want to talk to him and skype with him (skype is pretty awesome).  But it seems lately that I run out of things to talk about after a few minutes.  Which, 1) makes me feel incredibly boring and 2) is kind of depressing. 

But from what I understand, this isn't completely abnormal.  That doesn't mean it isn't frustrating, but it's nice to know that maybe I'm not the only one who has struggled with this.   

I think I just miss having him here in my life, physically here.  Which is hard to express.  Especially when I feel like a horrible wife when I tell him that I don't know what else to say besides "I miss you".

We all have different struggles in our journeys as military spouses.  Another dynamic that I haven't experienced is the struggle of being a parent while they're deployed, TDY or for whatever reason gone.  I have a lot of respect for all of the men and women who are raising their kids while the military member is gone.  I know it has to be hard.

Are there any military wives out there who have something to add?  Any other things that you have struggled with?  Please feel free to post a comment!

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Christmas count down

So, Christmas is coming.  Yikes!  I'm pretty sure (or at least I'm hoping) that I'm not the only one that the holiday season snuck up on.

So every year I try to buy gifts for people on my gift giving list through out the year.  But this year I failed.  I bought my first Christmas present in October.....  sigh.  But yesterday, I woke up feeling like a cold was trying to kill me.  I felt like I sneezed 30 times in the first 2 hours I was awake.  So, what does a girl do who feels like she's dying from a cold while she has the day off from work (in November)?  She researches Christmas present ideas online!  (And watches tv........)

And I actually got some Christmas shopping done and have ideas for the rest of the people on my list!  Which is a big deal for me because I have a few people on my list who seem to have everything they could want.  I love and hate shopping for those kind of people.  They really make me flex my creative shopping muscles. 

But my advice for anyone who's looking for Christmas/holiday gift ideas is:

1.  At least take a peek at deal sites like groupon and living social.  These sites are especially awesome because they frequently have unique items like a cigar of the month club or scuba diving course.  Which is really helpful for those hard to buy for people.
This is where I found 1 ingenious (I can't express how happy I am I found that deal!) gift idea.....though I'm not gonna say what it is in case that person reads this.  Just saying, a magician  *ahem*  lady  *ahem* holiday shopper never reveals her secrets. 

2. Follow blogs like Moneysavingmom, Becentsable and Iamthatlady.  These are blogs that are always posting tips and links to websites to save on groceries and all kinds of things.  The Iamthatlady blog even has a gift guide and black Friday ad section.  Even if you only glance at these blogs once a week, it might help save time and energy in your Christmas gift endeavors.

3. If you're planning on buying any gift cards for people this holiday season, I highly recommend perusing discounted gift card websites.  Two that I have had good experiences with are giftcardrescue.com and cardpool.com.  It's not usually incredibly huge savings but sometimes you can save $3-$5 on one gift card.  If you are going to buy several, that adds up!

4.  Start using money saving apps on your phone.  If you have a smart phone there are some apps that could be really helpful!  Two that I have found to be useful are Cartwheel for target and redlaser.  Cartwheel is an app that gives you coupons for items at target and they can be stacked with paper and text coupons for target (as well as manufacturers coupons!)  If you're not an avid couponer, cartwheel is an easy, not-much-effort-required way to save with coupons.  And redlaser is an app that may come especially in handy for black Friday, if you're planning on going out to shop that day.  It's an app that scans the barcode of an item and searches online looking for websites with that exact item for a better price.

5. Take a look at websites like uncommongoods.com and brookstone.com to get the creative gift ideas juices flowing.  I've found that just browsing these sites can be helpful to find ideas for those hard to buy for people.  Keep in mind that you can often find similar items cheaper on other websites because both those websites can be a bit pricey sometimes. 


But those are just a few tips and tricks that I have found helpful.  For more ideas I recommend checking out pinterest and money saving blogs. 



A few links that I highly recommend

                                               

Learning to adjust

Hi peoples,

Just me again.  Sorry I haven't posted anything that recently.  As the title suggests, I've been trying to adjust to my husband being deployed.  On one hand it's been an easier deployment than his last 2.  And on the other hand, it's been harder. 

It's been easier because I have a smart phone and he has a kindle fire this time around.  So we can Skype and keep in contact a whole lot more.  That has been really nice.

It's been harder because the same day that I dropped my husband off at the airport to fly out, 1 of our 2 dogs died a few hours later.  And I know that some people will think "It was just a dog", but he was such a big part of our lives and it was very unexpected.  So, needless to say I had a very rough few days. 

It's gotten easier, but I still miss our dog Toby very much.  He was our first dog, we got him when he was 9 weeks old and he was our first pet as a couple.  I have so many good memories of that little scoundrel. 

Rest in peace Toby, you were loved very much.

I've been trying to check some things off of my "Deployment list".  I've tried a couple of new recipes (thank you pinterest addiction!) and been reading and working out a lot more. 

I admit I will probably never be full vegan because I love cheese and fish too much.  But fruits, veggies and other super health foods have made more of an appearance in my diet.  Have you ever tried quinoa?  If you are interested in any of the stuff in the health food section, I would recommend it!  In my determination to try more fruits and veggies I've discovered a love for some winter squashes recently.  Oh and my love affair with pumpkin flavored everything is in full swing! 

I've rediscovered the local library's very convenient digital book service.  I love being able to browse their digital selection of books on my computer and then just borrow books on my nook!  Score!

I've also been trying to get all the paper work through to get my MyCAA grant and start taking classes in Business Administration.  I think I have done everything I can on that front, just waiting on the government to reopen and approve my grant.  It never fails, there is always a hurry up and wait dance. 

Beyond that, I've just been working and hitting the gym a lot.  I am working towards my goal to be able to at least jog an entire 5k before my husband comes back next year. 

That's what's up in my life. 

So until next time.....

Deployment list (A military wife's version of the bucket list)

So, we recently learned that my husband will be deploying again soon-ish.  I can't really say exactly when (because of OPSEC aka Operations Security and all that jazz), but it's safe to say he'll miss the holidays this year.  And while I'll miss him, I'm hoping to take advantage of the time alone (did I mention my brother in law should be moving out in the next few weeks? Hallelejuah!) and do some things that I want to do that would be harder to do while he's here.

So here's my deployment list. 

1.  Take advantage of the MYCAA grant and take some online classes in business administration. MYCAA is a really cool program that I just recently learned about.  Basically if you are married to an enlisted member of the military and they're an E-5 or below you are entitled to a scholarship.  The scholarship seems to be aimed towards helping you get a job that is fairly portable.  Which is awesome!

To find out more, go here. MYCAA Info  (The web browser might say that's an unsecure website, but it's just because it's a government website)

2.  Stock my fridge full of fresh fruits and veggies! 
I've been really getting into eating more fruits and veggies and it's been a little hard to keep the house stocked on those. And though I love getting bountiful baskets (Go here for more info on that www.bountifulbaskets.org) I sometimes can't get them because of the timing to buy them.  (They start selling every Monday at 1 pm here.  Talk about an inconvenient time!)
But with 2 less mouths to feed I shouldn't have a problem splurging a little more on healthy stuff.  :)

3. Read more.
There are so many books I want to read, but never have time.  I'm going to try to really make a dent in my reading list!  I might even try to make a small dent in this long list of books I found,
1001 books to read before you die.
 

4.  Try more vegan and vegetarian recipes.
I'm even entertaining the idea of doing a "vegan week" and going completely vegan for 1 week out of every month while he's gone.  But I'm definitely going to try to eat healthier.  I think it'll be a little easier while he's gone. 

5.  Work out more often. 
For a while I was doing really good and working out at least 3 times a week but I've been slipping off the bandwagon the past few weeks.  But while the hubby is deployed I won't have any excuse! I might even try to work up to being able to do a 5k without feeling like I'm dying.


6.  Organize the house and get rid of some junk that we never use.  'Nuff said.  ;)


7.  Actually try out some recipes and ideas that I've pinned on pinterest.

I'll probably think of more things that I want to add to this list......there might be a part 2 later. 

Is "kind of vegan" the same thing as "kind of pregnant"?

So recently it's come to my attention more and more that I want to seriously concentrate on eating more natural and healthy foods.  I t was my new years resolution to lead a more active lifestyle and eat healthier but it has come even more into focus for me since then. 

I think one of the catalysts was when we had to hire a few new people at my workplace and one of the people we hired is a vegan.  And it's funny, because I think a lot of people (myself included) can't help but have the first image that pops into their mind at the word vegan be that of a granola crunching hippy.  I think it's engrained in our head.  At least us Americans.  And it's kind of sad that stereotypes like that sometimes prevent us from enjoying other people's company, but that's a whole other blog post.

But she's not that kind of person. She's a very smart woman and when you work in such a small office like environment you can't help but strike up conversations once in a while.  And picking her brain sort of inspired me.  Not that I mean to assume that all vegans are hippies or anything but she really dispelled that image from my mind. 

Because if you look at how we as Americans eat, sometimes it's even revolting.  And North Dakota seems to be the epicenter of unhealthy eating in the U.S..  This is the heartland of obese Caucasian people. 

And then to top it off, I geeked out (speaking of stereotypes, lol....) and have started watching documentaries about different subjects.  And yesterday I watched "Forks over Knives".  Which was very interesting!  Even for people who are adamant that a vegan diet or lifestyle is a dumb idea, I would recommend that you watch that movie.  It's on Netflix on instant play! 

The one piece of information that really got to me is that many other countries do not have the rampant obesity and health problems that the U.S. does.  And what do the people in those other countries primarily eat?  Fruits, veggies and more natural foods.  The movie goes into more specific details about that, but I find that basic premise very interesting. 

Maybe if we made it more of priority to educate people in our country about a healthy diet that includes more healthy, natural foods and try to dismiss the negative stereotypes that we have of vegans, we might start to see progress against many treatable and preventable diseases and health issues. 

So this leads me to the thought that I'm not sure that I'm ready to completely give up meat but I definitely want to focus more on a plants based diet (or as most americans know it, a vegetarian diet).

Some vegans or vegetarians might think I'm a wimp for not giving up meat entirely.  Hence the title, lol.  But oh well.  I think it's a step in the right direction at the least.

Those stupid squeaky wheels

So, today I had a thought that sort of put into words how I feel about a certain subject.  It probably sounds lame, but it was a mini light bulb moment for me. 

You know the saying "The squeaky wheel gets the grease/ oil."?  Well today I was thinking about all the instances in my life where I may have complained a little about things that weren't fair that I had to go through.  But I stopped complaining and plowed through and dealt with the situation.  At least to the best of my abilities.  And then I started thinking about al the people I've come across in my life who were or are "Squeaky wheels".  They whine and complain and then someone jumps in and helps them.  And I've been jealous of those people because they get help. 

But you know what the problem is with squeaky wheel people?  They learn to whine and complain and get their way and then when they can't get help, they might not know how to deal with the situation on their own.  And then the situation, whatever it may be, could possibly get worse or even blow up in their face.  So in the short term it may be really convenient to be that kind of person, in the long run it could be pretty bad.

So lately I've been having a slight problem in my household.  I think it's a pretty common problem,   so I'm wondering how other women conquer it. 

I love my husband and my brother in law who is staying with us right now (He's going through a rough patch and will be staying with us for a few more months.  But that's a story for another time perhaps.)
Anyway like I said, I love them both.  But I can't seem to get them to pitch in with the house work.  Don't get me wrong, they pitch in with simple stuff about once a week.....but let's face it, that's not a lot.  Especially when I work full time.  It's not like I'm a housewife with no kids and no job.....no offense to any housewives out there.

The other day I was talking to my brother in law about how people have been disappointing me lately and he said something that I had never really thought about.  He said (roughly), "You hold people to the same standard that you hold yourself.  And since your standards are high then people let you down.  And also women, in my experience, can handle more stress than men."

On one hand I kind of view that as a cop out.  But I had never really thought about how I hold people to the same standard that I hold myself.  So that kind of explains it, but it doesn't really help. 

So to anybody reading this, how do you fix this kind of problem?  How do you motivate spouses or even just people around you to be better people and pitch in with the work load?

I came across this book and I'm wondering if it would really be helpful. The lazy husband: How to get men to do more parenting and housework.

 Any thoughts would be appreciated.  :)