Those stupid squeaky wheels

So, today I had a thought that sort of put into words how I feel about a certain subject.  It probably sounds lame, but it was a mini light bulb moment for me. 

You know the saying "The squeaky wheel gets the grease/ oil."?  Well today I was thinking about all the instances in my life where I may have complained a little about things that weren't fair that I had to go through.  But I stopped complaining and plowed through and dealt with the situation.  At least to the best of my abilities.  And then I started thinking about al the people I've come across in my life who were or are "Squeaky wheels".  They whine and complain and then someone jumps in and helps them.  And I've been jealous of those people because they get help. 

But you know what the problem is with squeaky wheel people?  They learn to whine and complain and get their way and then when they can't get help, they might not know how to deal with the situation on their own.  And then the situation, whatever it may be, could possibly get worse or even blow up in their face.  So in the short term it may be really convenient to be that kind of person, in the long run it could be pretty bad.

So lately I've been having a slight problem in my household.  I think it's a pretty common problem,   so I'm wondering how other women conquer it. 

I love my husband and my brother in law who is staying with us right now (He's going through a rough patch and will be staying with us for a few more months.  But that's a story for another time perhaps.)
Anyway like I said, I love them both.  But I can't seem to get them to pitch in with the house work.  Don't get me wrong, they pitch in with simple stuff about once a week.....but let's face it, that's not a lot.  Especially when I work full time.  It's not like I'm a housewife with no kids and no job.....no offense to any housewives out there.

The other day I was talking to my brother in law about how people have been disappointing me lately and he said something that I had never really thought about.  He said (roughly), "You hold people to the same standard that you hold yourself.  And since your standards are high then people let you down.  And also women, in my experience, can handle more stress than men."

On one hand I kind of view that as a cop out.  But I had never really thought about how I hold people to the same standard that I hold myself.  So that kind of explains it, but it doesn't really help. 

So to anybody reading this, how do you fix this kind of problem?  How do you motivate spouses or even just people around you to be better people and pitch in with the work load?

I came across this book and I'm wondering if it would really be helpful. The lazy husband: How to get men to do more parenting and housework.

 Any thoughts would be appreciated.  :)